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Saintly Scents

by Sabrina Lotti

I remember as a child being captivated by the stories told by pious women of people who had reported a mysterious rose-scented aroma while praying before a statue of the Virgin Mary or the holy rib of a Saint. I found comfort in the thought of such a tangible miracle, a sign of celestial contact, and I eagerly awaited my own scented epiphany. Until, not long ago, a tobacconist decided to let me in on a diabolical secret that offers a far from sacred explanation for this miracle of divine effluviance. It turns out that a large multinational company produces a rose scented perfume dispenser - seductively marketed as: “The Aroma of Saintliness” - and aimed specifically at the clerical market, catering to the needs of prelates wishing to inspire a little more fear of God and to earn themselves a captive flock.
Bread shop
The blasphemous aroma-dispenser is apparently equipped with a motion sensor, ready to activate the scent as soon as one of the faithful kneels before the object of their prayers.
Is the church really so desperate that it has to resort to such base tricks in order to raise its numbers, or to shore up their faith? And should we be tempted to doubt that the fragrance of freshly baked bread is proof of the presence of a productive oven? And can anyone deny the veracity of that enticing aroma produced by freshly cooked pizza from an authentic wood oven?
Oh yes, the heretical tobacconist swears that the very same multinational company also sells a scent dispenser to bread makers with which to tantalize the noses of their clients, and there is even a spray which the sly pizza maker uses to give his wares the fragrance of an oven that they have never seen!

Really! This is too much! I live in a world where veal is grown in test tubes, melons are square and lettuce is mummified, so that it lies unchanged in the fridge for weeks!

holy water containers